I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
