Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i think i have herpe
just one?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
