Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just found puke in my bra..
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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