haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
