Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
