I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
