omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
