we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
