i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
