I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
