her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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