and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
