Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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