somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Found the puke drawer
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
