Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you inspire me to be a worse person
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
