do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
