I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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