Porn is love you can see.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
