My liver just broke up with me...
It's Friday. Sex?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
