so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
