his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
