speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
