this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My penis needs a shock collar
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
