I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
