I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize