Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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