wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you win again, gameday.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
