yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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