i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
