My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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