it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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