How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
