I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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