she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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