i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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