If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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