I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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