I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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