Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
