Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
