so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
