Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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