i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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