Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
