Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just threw up on my dentist
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
