All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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