please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize