Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
