am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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