hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
