I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
