she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
