lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
